As luck would have it, I was fortunate enough to have access to the Westholm as shot in one of my first posts. This beautiful old hotel was once a four seasons motor lodge and has stood empty since the early 90’s. Most of the rooms are fairly intact; however part of the building is crumbling due to now maintenance and water damage. These are some portraits taken within the hotel.
Ok, confession time. Many people don’t know this about me, actually, I’ll say only my closest friends do; I am absolutely terrified of the ocean. it is a debilitating fear, sweaty palms, heavy breathing, absolute feeling of chaos. The idea of being surrounded by such vastness is my ultimate fear. The feeling of not know whats underneath you, and to the side of you, gives me shortness of breath. When i was a child; I dreamed in black and white. I had a re-occurring nightmare of swimming through the ocean surrounded my grey water and absolute silence; absolute calm, then, I see a wall of black in front of my, a swaying tangle of slippery, wet seaweed. Huge pillars of vegetation so tightly bound it looks almost impenetrable. I am pulled towards it regardless of my movements. Before i know it I am entangled so tightly in this house of black plants I start to get pulled to the bottom, and right as all the light began to fade from view, I would wake up covered in sweat. My photography is a way for me to deal with my fears, to turn something I am afraid of into a thing of beauty. I hope you enjoy.
This is a film series I recently started on my last trip to Fort Tilden NY. The last time I showed these to a friend, she said “wow, these are so soft and pretty, and you’re so…. gross.”. This is true, I guess I always saw photography as a way to calm myself, not worry about being pissed all the time. These are the things I do, in between my white girl problems.